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Year Five Comic Archive Page 1 |
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Artist's Commentary A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. Published November 15, 2010
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Artist's Commentary Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford. That still doesn't make me feel any better when I look in the mirror. |
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Artist's Commentary Be obscure clearly. |
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Artist's Commentary Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. |
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Artist's Commentary A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? |
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Artist's Commentary Never fight an inanimate object. |
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Artist's Commentary I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been |
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Artist's Commentary Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. |
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Artist's Commentary I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, |
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Artist's Commentary I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can. |
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Artist's Commentary A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? |
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Artist's Commentary All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. |
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Artist's Commentary I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, |
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Artist's Commentary The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is |
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Artist's Commentary Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. |
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Artist's Commentary Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. |
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Artist's Commentary I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, |
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Artist's Commentary Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? |
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Artist's Commentary It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all. |
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Artist's Commentary Whether you've got two, or six, or sixteen dozen, legs can be pretty important. So important that many people have insured theirs for huge sums of money. Bette Grable, the 1940's movie actress and pin up girl, had her legs insured by the studio for a whopping $1,000,000. And that was in 1940's dollars. Today, Mariah Carey's legs are insured for $1,000,000,000. Yeah, that's a billion dollars. Dancer Micheal Flatley of River Dance fame has his insured for $47,000,000 and Heidi Klum's go for a respectable $2,800,000. For that kind of payoff, I think I'd be willing to nick myself with a razor. Heck, for half that amount I might be tempted to chop off a toe.
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Artist's Commentary You know what makes me mad, salmonella. Who invented this stuff. Do any of you remember eggs sunny side up with the gooey golden yolk running all over your plate? Do you remember sopping it up with your toast? And what about Sly? Remember him, Sly Stallone? Rocky Balboa? The Italian Stallion? He used to get up at gross-o'clock-in-the-morning, drink a dozen raw eggs, run five miles through the freezing New York City streets in the middle of winter and then go and beat up a few sides of beef. And he won the heavy weight championship of the world against Apollo Creed doing that. Boy, try that today and about the only running you'd be doing is trotting to the porcelain throne. Or even worse, you could end up with a severe case of the deads. Anyway, I don't know who the clown was that invented salmonella, but I guess it probably was the same guy who invented Venetian Blind Sunglasses. |
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Artist's Commentary All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. |
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Artist's Commentary French is definitely one of those languages that has absolutely no place for Hooked on Phonics. Know how to pronounce "veau" as in art nouveau? It's pronounced o, long o. That's it. All those letters run together at random just to get one little vowel sound. How about "eaux" as in tableaux. You guessed it, long o again. Boy, French is really dumb. American, that's a language that's really got its act together. All our words make sense, like one, which is pronounced wun, and pneumonia, which is pronounce new-monia. And... oh, never mind. Published May 2, 2011 |
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ALL ARTWORK COPYRIGHT BILL WILSON 2008